Journal/Scrapbooking Group (8) - Childhood Memories

From August 2007
In April, my journal group was assigned the topic of Childhood memories to write about. This was a very easy topic for me, since I have some great ones. The picture above is of my page with lots of photos of me and my family and friends. And below is the journaling I added in a little booklet.

The memories of my childhood are vast and plentiful. They are also almost always happy ones. How could they not be? I was the spoiled baby sister in a large family of mostly boys.

Because I was so much younger than the rest of my siblings, I often played alone. One of my favorite ways to spend time included playing house, especially with my set of Fisher Price people and furniture. When I yearned for the company of a play companion, I turned to my friends. I developed a feeling for the nature of friendship early on. My first memory of close friendship was at three and I continued this friendship clear into the sixth grade.

There were also plenty of times that I watched or played alongside my big brothers. They were into football, wrestling, basketball, and many of the typical guy things. Once in a while Id be privileged enough to be included in their games. I became the wrestling partner that could always be beat and the tag along that never could quite get the hang of basketball. But with their help, I was actually able to figure out the odd rules to chess and become a pretty decent softball player.

I grew up on a dairy farm and therefore some of my memories revolve around many of the chores I was assigned. These included feeding the calves, taking care of my rabbits, and mowing the lawn (which and I hated and still do to this day). I had a fondness for animals, especially the babies: chicks, bunnies, kittens, puppies, calves, etc. Good thing I lived on a farm, for we had them all.

My mom was always very supportive of me discovering and building my talents. For almost eight years I took piano lessons. Towards the end, I had become quite accomplished in my skills and the pride of Mrs. Hansen, my piano teacher. Once I reached Junior High, I traded in the piano for a flute. I also showed an interest in drawing and creating crafts. Of course many of my early drawings look like any other childs interpretations. But as I grew older, I began to take art more seriously, especially as I noticed I had a bit of a flair for it.

I can't say that I long to relive my childhood, but I certainly do love to remember it. I had loving, caring parents, great siblings, and awesome friendships. And even though my family may not have had all the conveniences or an excess of money, I rarely noticed. My childhood was, and I'm sure my life will continue to be, made of great memories!

Journal/Scrapbooking Group (7) - Dreams

From June 2007
In February, one of my friends in our journaling group assigned the topic of Dreams as that month's page. She really didn't define exactly what that meant, whether it should be about our dreams for life, for the future, etc. Or, if it should be about dreams we have while sleeping. Later she stated that she was focusing more on the latter, but she also knew that some would go in the direction of what they dream for themselves or their children in life. Since I rarely remember my dreams once I wake up, and I felt like in some ways I had already covered what I wanted out of life in other pages, I decided I would go a different route and talk about daydreams.

I struggled a bit with how to create my page and with what to write. Part of it was, I think, that I just wasn't in the mood to scrapbook that month. So, I kept it really simple. I thought about daydreaming as being light and airy, peaceful, and happy, and somewhat youthful. I picked papers and colors that resembled the light airy part. Then I wrote a simple, somewhat humorous poem (mine always are) about the kind of daydreams I have, when I take the time to let them float through my mind.

DAYDREAMS by Buffy

"Lazy afternoons, daydreaming of what life could be... should be... I dream of beach houses and ocean waves; of novels I've written about romantic days. I dream of financial security and yummy cheesecake; of a child of my own to be my namesake. I dream of hairless legs and a year-round tan; of holding hands with a very cute man. I dream of a house with a porch and of having a skinny waist; of really, really low interest rates. These are a few of the things out of many; to hope for, to wish for, to dream of, to believe..."

Journal/Scrapbooking Group (6) - A Favorite Book

From June 2007
I'm still catching up in posting my journal/scrapbooking pages from the journal group I'm in. Sigh... I should just sit down on a Saturday and post all of the ones I have to date. I am actually quite fond of the pages I've created, just because I love being creative. So I really don't mean to make it sound like it's a chore to "show them off".

In January, we were assigned to scrapbook a page about our favorite book. It was really hard for me to choose. I don't know that I have a favorite book. I'm not an avid reader, yet I do read from time to time. And my selections vary from novels, to magazines, to self-help. Then it came to me! I absolutely love to read Calvin & Hobbes comics!! So that's what I chose. The picture above is what my page looks like, including some little booklets of favorite comic strips-lying around the page-that I put inside the sheet protector when I'm not actually reading or viewing the page.

My journaling for the page is also in one of these little booklets. And it states:

I WAS INTRODUCED TO CALVIN & HOBBES COMICS BY A FRIEND WHO FOUND THEM HUMOROUS AND REMINDED HIM OF TWO OF HIS YOUNGER BROTHERS. AS I BEGAN TO READ THEM, I FOUND THAT CALVIN, AND HIS DEAR PAL, HOBBES, PROVIDED ME WITH A WONDERFUL SOURCE OF COMIC RELIEF. I WOULD LAUGH SO HARD SOMETIMES, THAT MY BELLY ACHED, TEARS RAN DOWN MY CHEEKS, AND ONLOOKERS THOUGHT I'D GONE MAD! I NOW OWN MUCH OF THE BOOK COLLECTION OF BILL WATTERSON'S POPULAR COMIC STRIP. I'M SAD HE'S RETIRED, YET I'M GRATEFUL HE DID SO BEFORE LOSING HIS FLAIR.

CALVIN REMINDS ME OF ALL THAT CHILDHOOD SHOULD BE ABOUT; IMAGINARY FRIENDS AND EXAGGERATED ADVENTURES, DISOBEDIENCE TO RULES AND BOUNDARIES, CHILDHOOD MOCKING OF ALL THAT IS ADULT-LIKE, AND THE ENJOYMENT OF SIMPLE PLEASURES. WHAT FUN IT IS TO REMEMBER AND RELIVE MY OWN CHILDHOOD BY PICKING UP AND READING A BOOK OF CALVIN & HOBBES COMICS! AND AS I DO, I'M ALSO REMINDED OF HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO NOT HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO A "CALVIN" OF MY OWN! (YET, ANYWAY. )

Journal/Scrapbooking Group (5) - The Colors of Fall

From April 2007
In my quest to get all of my past journal/scrapbook pages from my journaling group entered onto my blog, I will enter yet another one today.

November's topic was "The Color of Fall." This was not hard at all for me, since it is my favorite season. I love fall colors, fall weather, and the "mood" of fall (which for me seems to be similar to what the word "reminiscent" brings to mind).
Here is what I wrote in the brief journaling that I included amongst some photos from magazines, leaves, a quote, and fall colored paper:

Autumn... my favorite season and time of year! I absolutely cannot wait for the first crisp morning, the slight change of color in the leaves, and that certain fragrance that I can’t think of any words to describe, but is distinctive as the smell of fall. It’s when the Earth decides to dress itself in its best colors. And as if I’m trying to mimic these changes, I race to the closet to dig out the clothes I love to wear best: warm, cozy, sweaters and shirts in hues of purple, brown, olive, red, orange and black.

The season seems to bring on a sense of reminiscence and melancholy, as I spend time remembering such things as “back to school” moments, high school football games, and
long ago friendships and romances. It’s a time of rewarding reflection.

Both of my favorite holidays occur in autumn. As Halloween approaches my mind returns to the times of costumes, trick-or-treating, hay rides, bonfires, and times with childhood friends. Thanksgiving brings out all the warm feelings of family and of giving thanks for the simple things in life, such as good health, a roof over my head, the country I live in, and the many loved ones in my life.

Thank Goodness for Autumn! What would I do without it?

Journal/Scrapbooking Group (4) - If I Had A Million...

From April 2007
It has been a while since I entered one of my scrapbooking pages into my blog. To catch those of you up, who haven't read my early entries, I am part of a journaling group. We meet once a month, taking turns hosting and picking a topic for that month's journal page. Most participants, including myself, use a scrapbooking format along with some journaling to portray our thoughts and feelings on the assigned topic each month.
As I mentioned above, I am really behind in entering them on here. So I thought I might catch up a bit! The above picture is of the fourth page I created, back in October (2006). It was actually my turn to host that month and so I got to pick the topic. After a bit of pondering, I decided to ask the group to write about what they would do if they were given or won a million dollars (without the responsibility of taxes, of course). I gave them three stipulations: 1) a third of the money must be spent on something pratical, 2) a third of the money must be spent on something frivolous, 3) a third must be spent on a charitable act or organization.
I divided both pages into sections and below is what I wrote:

If I Had A Million…
Let’s pretend for just a moment that I have just won a million dollars. Tax free even! In today's world, one million dollars doesn't seem to go far. But it would still be a blast to experience what it would be like to try and stretch it as far as it would go. There were many ways and ideas that came to mind on how I would love to spend my winnings, but the ones I finally came up with seemed like the most rewarding.

I Would Travel the World
I have always loved traveling. But money, or lack of it, always seems to get in the way of me being able to travel to the places that I have always wanted to go. To make my travels even more rewarding I would share my experiences by inviting a different loved one to join me as I traveled to each destination. One third of a million may not take me too far, but my first destination would be to Europe, including France, England, and Italy. I’d then set a course for Australia and New Zealand. And once I returned to the states I’d make sure to visit the New England states in autumn and Hawaii in the winter. Man I love to dream about money!

I Would Pay Off My Debts
Spending money in practical ways can be almost as fun for me as those things that are considered frivolous. The relief or the contentment that is felt from taking care of things that are needed is quite rewarding. With the second allotment of money, I would first pay off all my debts, loans, credit cards, etc. especially my mortgage and my school loans. With what was left over, I would divide up and invest some, put some in a retirement account, go back to school for my Masters, and make sure that my mother had enough of everything she needed to live comfortably for the remainder of her life.

I Would Give to Charity
“Oprah's Angel Network is dedicated to inspiring people to make a difference in the lives of others. It grants awards to organizations and operates projects in under-served communities that provide educational initiatives as well as assist people in fulfilling basic human needs and regaining dignity.” ~Mission Statement

It was certainly fun to dream -- who doesn't love to dream of how to spend money, especially when there's a lot of it! Now i just need to start buying lottery tickets so that I might even have a "smidgen" of a chance in winning!! (Yeah right! )

JOURNAL / SCRAPBOOKING GROUP (3) - IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME...

FROM OCTOBER 2006
I guess it's about time that I enter my September's Journal Group page. It's been completed and the group met quite a while ago, but I've just been a bit preoccupied with other things to get a photo of it posted.

September's dare or challenge was to create a page on something that you would like to go back in time and either witness, participate in, or even change (including a regret). I had so much fun with this page, because I've always been fascinated with the 60's and 70's and would love to spend just a bit of time there. Within a pocket on the first page, I included a photo of my siblings and myself in 1969 -- of course I was just an infant then. I also included the lyrics to 3 songs from the era: "Blowin' In The Wind, Let's Get Together, and Turn! Turn! Turn! On the second page I added two CD compilations that I burned of many of my favorite "Flower Child" tunes and of course a folder that contained my journaling.

Here's what I entered in the journal portion of my page:
My sign is Aquarius.
I was born in 1969.
And all my life I have been fascinated by the “Hippie Era” of the 1960’s.
Maybe it’s because of my love of the music that I heard my teenage siblings play while I was very young.
Maybe it’s because I’m fascinated in the cause and beliefs behind the political unrest that played such a role in shaping the country during that time.
Maybe I’m envious of the “free” lifestyles many lived and experimented with.
And maybe I just really liked the way they dressed!
If I could turn back time…
I would like to live as a student attending the University of California, Berkeley in 1964 and witness, possibly participating in the demonstrations and protests that occurred.
And then if I could jump forward just a few more years to 1969, I would love to be in attendance at Woodstock and hear the music there.
I realize that I have a bit of a romantic and probably unrealistic view of the events of the 60’s. But if I could experience these things for just a few days, I’d be able to return to my present life with a deeper appreciation for the arts, for people who stand up for what they believe, and for creative and free expression. I’m sure that I would learn a valuable lesson in how to not be so judgmental, but more grateful for the talents of others. I would also wonder if I would return a bit disappointed in how little our country has advanced in how it views its diverse population but continues to repeat the same mistakes.
But most of all, lessons put aside, visiting the 60’s and being a “Hippie Chick” would just be far out man!!

A PIVOTAL MOMENT FROM A PIVOTAL MOMENT

FROM THURSDAY, AUGUST 31, 2006
Tonight I met with my journal group. I really wasn't much in the mood to go, even though I was pleased with the page I had created. It has been a rough week again at work; not so much due to the heavy workload, but because I have just not been feeling like myself--emotionally. And after another day of trying to sort through my many thoughts and feelings (let alone trying to focus on getting some much needed planning for our pre-service training done) I just didn't think I could handle meeting with a group of women who seem so close to each other, yet I hardly know.
But as we sat down around the hosts living room, and each person began to read and share their experiences and pivotal moments in life, I began to notice how positive and supportive they were to each other. Everyone listened attentively to what each person had to say, made supportive remarks, and basically acted like personal cheerleaders to those sharing their thoughts. It was at this time that I feel like I had a sort of pivotal moment in the midst of everyone sharing past pivotal moments.

I have been so negative lately, and I couldn't up to this point figure out why. I had a feeling that I was actually angry about something, yet I couldn't admit to myself what I was angry about. But here were all these positive people, and it was such a contrast to my mood, that soon it started to sift away. I've always believed that when people become defensive or angry, it's usually because they are feeling insecure about something. And while driving home, it dawned on me--I have been feeling insecure about probably every single one of my friendships lately. And sadly, I have been dealing with it in a very selfish manner. One I have just been pulling away from--for quite some time. Another I have been losing patience with over all their complaining and negativism (look who's calling the kettle black). And another I have been extremely nit-picky with, pointing out and exaggerating faults. And yet even another, I've just not been very supportive in some life changes they've decided to take on.

But why? I think I'm seriously afraid of losing them, or at least some of those I referred to above. I'm afraid that with what is currently happening in theirs and my life, that I'm losing the level of closeness we've had. Isn't it so strange how we build up walls to protect ourselves from being hurt. It's actually just plain stupid.

Whew! What a big circle of realization that was... but now that I have figured it out, I sure would like to have more of what these women seem to have with each other, in my own circle of friends. And now I just need to take the steps to make it so.

JOURNAL / SCRAPBOOKING GROUP (2) - A PIVOTAL MOMENT

FROM TUESDAY, AUGUST 29, 2006
It's time again to meet with my new Journal group (we meet this Thursday night) . This month's challenge was to journal/create a page about a pivotal moment in life. I actually thought of several different pivotal moments that I've had, but because I don't really know the women in this group very well, I decided that I didn't want to do anything too personal. So I chose a topic that has been a pivotal life-long moment: being single. I copied and pasted below the actual entry that I put inside the booklet that fits into a pocket on the right side of the page. Warning - It's quite long. The first paragraph is an exerpt from an article I read online and then the remainder is what I journaled. I also included a couple of short quotes on the page about happiness, but I don't think I'll add them to this blog, since it's going to be long enough as it is.

Table For One:
“There seems to be a seismic shift in the place of singles in American culture – in the lives they lead, in the way others see them and, more profoundly, in the way they see themselves. Singlehood is rapidly turning into a satisfying destination rather than an anxiety-ridden way station, a sign of independence rather than a mark of shame, an opportunity to develop a variety of relationships rather than a demand to stuff all one’s emotional eggs into one basket. ‘Singlehood is no longer a state to be overcome as soon as possible,’ says social historian Stephanie Coontz. ‘It has its own rewards, Marriage is not the gateway to adulthood anymore . For most people it’s the dessert – desirable, but no longer the main course.’ People may still be eager to meet a long-term partner, but they are a lot less desperate. In fact, neither the coupled nor uncoupled life is an automatic ticket to bliss; much depends on the achievement of meaningful life goals and quality of the relationships you create.” ~Jillian Strauss, psychologytoday.com

My Journaling: I grew up in a home and a religious culture that encouraged and expected that all participate in, at the onset of adulthood or soon thereafter, the rite of passage called marriage. It wasn’t too hard for me to comprehend as I watched six older siblings do so and start families. And as a girl in my teens, I was bombarded with mental images of what my life would be like – once I actually started it as a married wife and mother. My life’s goals were to go to college, meet my husband, get married, and start a family. Since I didn’t date much in High School, I just knew that special someone would be waiting for me at college. That’s how it happened for my siblings, so why shouldn’t it happen to me?

As I studied and played my way through two years of college, I watched as some of my friends got married. Then after earning my associates and becoming a member of the work force, I stood aside as more friends tied the knot. It was at this point that I really began to wonder what was wrong with me? I was gaining and experiencing some very rewarding friendships with both men and women, but it didn’t seem to be enough. I had a continual attitude of waiting – waiting for life to happen to me and waiting for a man to magically appear.

There were a few men along the way, some that I really liked, some that created an unhealthy partnership with me, and some that really liked me. Those were the hardest to walk away from because I wondered if I could just learn to love them as time progressed, could I make it work? I worked hard to not become negative and to maintain an attitude that each time a relationship didn’t work out, that there were things I could learn from it and there were always some great memories made. Even though I usually succeeded in looking at the brighter side of my past relationships, I still had to face the fact that I was still single. And being single equated to being of lesser worth.

Ever since my early twenties, my life has been (and will probably continue to be) filled with “a-ha” and pivotal moments that point to what my true destination in life, my single life, is to be. It took me quite a bit of these moments to realize that I needed to discard my inner belief that to be whole, I needed to be married. It has been hard sometimes when I sense a “poor lonely you”
attitude from an onlooker or peer. Or, when others try to “fix all my problems” by setting me up on a blind date. (Not that I don’t think that blind dates can’t be full of potential and not all of my blind dates have felt like sympathy set-ups.) Over the years, I have had a date or two: blind, conventional, and even ones that have come about through the internet. Some went as far as the first date – some further. But the best thing of all: I haven’t been nearly so devastated when I realized it just wasn’t working out.

Do I still desire to marry? Sure! I still become twitter-pated at the onset of a new crush and I still dream of a romantic rendezvous. But even better yet, I realize that crushes and romance are not all that life has to offer me. I have learned to look at my work as an actual career, I have regained a passion for learning and completed my bachelor’s degree, I continually try to appreciate the strong, positive relationships I do maintain in my life (they are my saving grace), and recently, I really ventured beyond what I never thought I’d do alone and bought a house.

Maybe I’ve become too comfortable with my single life and my independence. Or maybe, I’ve finally realized that I am whole, full of worth, and very happy (most of the time) with who I am all by myself. The committed, loving relationship I have with myself is the one that matters most. ~Happy Single Girl

SHY? ... ME? ... WHY CERTAINLY...

FROM MONDAY, JULY 21, 2006
I attended the first night of our journaling group... just got home in fact. It's in moments like these that I realize how shy I can get when faced with a group of people that I don't know. Out of the eight present, I knew two relatively well. Anyway, as I sat there and listened to various different conversations, and as I watched the various new personalities around me, I kept dealing with conflicting feelings. The first one was a feeling of discomfort. I hate the awkwardness of not knowing people and being kind of like an outsider in a group where everyone knows everyone else. The second feeling though was of excitement and enjoyment at getting the chance to meet new people. I know it sounds strange, because they are two totally different feelings going on at once. Some of the second conflicting feeling was about me telling myself that this was good for me and that I need to have some fresh blood/personalities/people in my life. I've been in kind of a rut lately, socially. Plus I'm always stating how I like to meet new people, but I think that is more true when I can meet a new person, one person at a time. It's much harder (and less enjoyable) when faced with a whole group.

Otherwise, I did have a good time. There are some good scrapbookers in this group and I gained some creative ideas. I always like that! Anyway, we will meet again in a month. The new topic hasn't been given to us quite yet. I guess we'll receive it by email.

JOURNAL/SCRAPBOOKING GROUP (1) - TOP TEN LIST

FROM SUNDAY, JULY 30, 2006
I have recently joined a new type of scrapbooking group. Really, it's more about journaling and scrapbooking ideas and thoughts than it is about scrapbooking photos. Each month, I will create a new page. And then, I will meet with this group (made up of about 12 other women-whom I really don't know too well) once a month to share my page. Each month the page has a new topic. So, we will each have a turn to choose the topic for the next month's page.

The entire journal or scrapbook also has a theme that each month's page needs to fit in. Although it's pretty general. I'm not sure I'm completely into the book's theme yet, but I'm sure I'll get there as time goes on. The theme, as I understand it at this point is, "I Dare You to...." and each month the rest of the sentence will be filled in and a page made on that. So this first one (which I have finished and posted a picture of) was "I dare you to list your top ten" on any subject. Kind of like David Letterman's top ten lists. I actually didn't think it was all that "daring", but the page was fun to create anyway. I chose to list my top ten ways to "Beat the Heat" (it's kind of hard to read the title in the photo) since that seems to be on my mind a lot lately.
My top ten ways to Beat The Heat are:
10. Take a drive in my air-conditioned car
9. Eat some cold, juicy, watermelon
8. Go camping in the mountains
7. Eat ice cream everyday
6. Go swimming in a lake
5. Go shopping in an air-conditioned mall
4. Lay naked in front of the cooler
3. Drink a half-frozen, slushy, Dr. Pepper
2. Take a trip to the Oregon Coast
and my number one way to beat the heat....
1. Hire scantily clad men to fan me with palm fronds. (I may actually increase the heat this way, but it would be way worth it!)

We meet for the first time tomorrow night. Everyone (I assume) will share their pages and then someone will get to choose what we'll work on for next month. It will last a whole year... and I do think it will be fun. Plus it will get me back into the regular mode of scrapbooking. Heaven knows I have plenty of supplies!